jk-destroyed-our-best-gay-ships:
a while ago I saw a post that pointed out that Snape would have treated Harry differently if he had been a girl and looked like Lily and I’m so horrified at the truth in that statement that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it
fuck
my favorite moment in the sorcerer’s stone is when hagrid comes to get harry for hogwarts and he’s like “you mean to tell me this boy know nothing about anything?!” and harry, bless his heart, is lowkey offended and is like “i mean i know math” like what a pure boy…….. what a shining soul……
rosechristo1-deactivated2017100:
I was saying this to somebody else, but Rose Is Very Straight played a part in some of the stylistic choices I made. And I’ve come to the conclusion that most of us go through that I AM VERY STRAIGHT! phase when we’re little baby gays. So yes, it’s gay culture, this is the official word and you can take that to the bank.
harry: It’s cute how I used to think this “barely-holding-it-together” feeling was temporary.
ron: Sometimes I think “I need to think before I speak” and then other times I think “I shouldn’t leave the house or interact with people ever.”
hermione: I woke up just before winning the argument in my dream. Fuck this day.
draco: For someone with such an intense need to be liked you’d think I would have figured out how to be less of an asshole.
neville: My daily objective is less about goal achievement and more about regret management.
ginny: “You’re the only person in the world I don’t hate right now" is as close as I get to saying “I love you”
luna: When *I* played Barbie, I stripped her naked and melted her with matches.
voldemort: My life would be so much easier if it wasn’t for that thing…God, what is that thing called…other people.
dumbledore: If I die unexpectedly can everyone just do the right thing and pretend I was a way better person than I am?
snape: Can I petition to make holding grudges an Olympic event? Cause I’ve been in training my whole life.
mcgonagall leaves hogwarts for a week’s holiday
when she comes back some of the students have put up ‘have you seen this cat?’ posters for her
the sorting hat: you can go in Slytherin or Ravenclaw, which do you want?
me: which will make people trust me unquestioningly?
the sorting hat: the answer is Ravenclaw but because you asked that way you’re going in Slytherin
me: that’s fair.
James: Is there a charm to make pigs fly?
Remus: Why
James: Lily said she’d go out with me “when pigs fly”
Remus:
Sirius: LET’S DO IT
which harry potter character was most likely to wear heelys and why
fred and george. had places to be
they did it’s true. heelys would have helped them tremendously
I love Gryffindor but even I have to admit it’s probably the most shit stupid idea for a Hogwarts House because it’s like “yes let’s take all the adolescents with poor impulse control and put them ALL IN THE SAME PLACE”
What a lot of people don’t realise is that Helga Hufflepuff basically gamed the entire house system so that ordinary, chill people could get some goddamn peace for a change.
Poor impluse control & show offs – over there.
Overwraught daydreamers & insufferable pedants – thattaway
Obsessive emo try-hards and baby bigots – you know where to go.
Anyone else out for drama? No? Good. Let’s camp out by the kitchen. We’re gonna need snacks.
Dumbledore: Ah, yes, I see Harry Potter’s eleventh birthday is coming up. Since his relatives are Muggles, should we do the customary house visit a week before his birthday?
Minerva: No, Albus, I think I’m just going to fuck that Vernon Dursley up with 500000000 owl letters. *puts on shades and ollies out*
Dumbledore: I’m so glad I hired that woman.