sarahreesbrennan:

thexfiles:

tell me where the lie is

Thinking a lot about this quote in light of some discussion of two interviews done by the actors in Avengers that I’ve seen. (For those who didn’t see the discussions: Chris Evans and Jeremy Renner made some sexist comments and were criticised, they apologised. There was another interview where Mark Ruffalo was given the questions usually directed at a lady, and Scarlett Johansson the questions usually given to a dude.) 

I’m glad the two actors apologised and glad they were forgiven, but I did wonder if a lady would’ve been. I did notice people didn’t bring up other mistakes the actors had made, whereas I saw people discussing mistakes actresses had made years before in other circumstances. I also saw a ton of ‘I LOVE MARK RUFFALO!’ commentary around the second interview, and thought ‘Well, why is he getting more credit than Scarlett Johansson?’

I hadn’t thought about it before, that I see dudes making mistakes and not having past offences thrown in their faces–getting more credit for their good behaviour and less flak for their bad.

I am not a celebrity obviously, but I bring myself up because I get nervous discussing other women making mistakes without being clear that *I* make mistakes all the livelong. When I do think about speaking up, or when I do make a mistake (happens all the time!) I do consider that I won’t just be criticised for the current mistake, but called up on the carpet for a) something I wrote in a book in 2009, b) something I failed to write in a book in 2011, c) something I said in 2005.  

It’s much easier to act if you know that when you make a mistake, you’ll be apologising for one thing you did, and not end up being asked to apologise for a bunch of things you did–which ends up feeling a lot like being asked to apologise for existing.

I know singer Meghan Trainor is going to be criticised for saying she doesn’t consider herself a feminist for yeeeears, even if she decides later she does consider herself one, even though there are lots of valid reasons not to identify as a feminist (for the record, I do consider myself a feminist, which I do not think will come as a shock to you guys ;)).

I’m not saying: give ladies (or anyone) a pass on their past behaviour, especially if their past behaviour indicates a still-ongoing pattern. But I am saying, as ever, consider the difference between the way different people are treated, and as ever, if possible, err on the side of being kind.